• Cynthia McCarthy

It's Fine

Updated: Sep 15, 2020

As a parent, when you have more than one child, it’s fun to see all the similarities and differences in your children. I have three daughters who are similar for sure, but each with their own unique personalities, traits, and skills. The youngest one, in particular though, has always behaved very differently than her older sisters. Lately, I’ve found spiritual inspiration in her unique approach to life.

When the older girls were little, they’d worry about being dressed just right. They’d work hard in school to get good grades. They’d pay attention to their hair, and get upset if anyone pointed out that they had done something wrong.

The youngest one—didn’t. She never worried about or got upset about anything. From the time she very little, this trait was quite dominant in her little personality. It seems like as soon as she learned to talk, conversations went like this:

MOM: “Honey, your shoes are on the wrong feet.”

YOUNGEST: “It’s fine.”

MOM: “Your shirt is on backwards.”

YOUNGEST: “It’s fine.”

MOM: “You know your outfit doesn’t match, right?”

YOUNGEST: “It’s fine.”

MOM: “Your teacher says your handwriting is a little messy. Maybe you should try harder to be neat?”

YOUNGEST: “It’s fine.”

MOM: “Honey, are you doing a good job washing your hair?”

YOUNGEST: “It’s fine.”

You get the idea, on and on. Everything was fine in this child’s world, even when by my standards, it wasn’t. I had never noticed what a huge part of her life this sentiment was. Then she became a teenager, and she was saying it even more.

MOM: “Honey, your room is a mess. Can you pick it up?”

YOUNGEST: “It’s fine.”

MOM: “Where are your glasses?”

YOUNGEST: “They’re probably at school somewhere—It’s fine.”

MOM: “Did you study for your history test?”

YOUNGEST: “No—but it’s fine.”

MOM: “How are you going to get this project done in time?”

YOUNGEST: “It’s fine.”

I’d try to push her to care more about her grades, how she presented herself, keeping up with her belongings, etc, and I was always met with (you guessed it) “It’s fine.” We’d go a few rounds when I wanted the dishes done at a certain time, something picked up immediately, or expected her to generally do what she was told!

Secretly, I used to worry this was the laziest kid on earth who didn’t care about a darn thing. But then I started to notice something really interesting. This kid has a sense of peace and serenity within her that I’ve never seen in her sisters, and frankly, I don’t see in many people anywhere. It’s beautiful, and I’m a little jealous of it.

This kid doesn’t let things get to her or bother her. She’s perfect just the way she is, and she knows it. The way she does things is perfect, too, and she knows it. It’s like she has instinctively always known what’s important and what really matters.

As spiritual seeking adults, can we say the same?

I think for this kid, “It’s fine” is the secular equivalent to: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart.” (Proverbs 3:5)

It’s fine” is her version of: “All is well with my soul.”

“It’s fine” is her mantra for “Why should my heart be troubled?”

She trusts life. She is affirming good things for herself. She is declaring her intention that all is well for her. She believes "It's fine." As much as I want to instill responsibility, awareness, and effort as a parent, I’m also starting to see the value in cultivating a peaceful sense of knowing that "It’s fine." In a way, she’s teaching me to consider what things I can let go of, what stuff I can stop worrying about, and what I can do in different ways than the people around me. It’s refreshing.

Where in your life can you step back and even just for moment, stop and say: “It’s fine…”

Because maybe…it is!


Rev Cynthia

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